Why this? Why now?

I have been putting this out for a while, I really should stop procrastinating. So I decided while I take a day off of college to do some actual work but did not(See, I cannot get rid of this) I will put this out there.

I'm 21, in my 15year old self assessment journal, by now I should have been a very successful somebody. I'm not anywhere close to where I want to be, but I decided we rarely are. In my deep moments, I want to be a story teller. I dont however want to be a fully fledged writer(My take on anything, would not be nearly as fancy) but story telling. That I think I can do. Lot of people tell me I can. (I think they are just being nice, but I am going to take it).

Anyway what is this? Why this? And why now?


I'm basically a delete-r. That's not really a word. I see you English Lit. students giving me the look. (Give me a break,maybe?). Anyway, I am the aforementioned word. It means I dont back up my ramblings, I have a 500gb hard disk that almost never has data over 150gb(And you will not believe this, if you dont know me, but in like 150 days I will graduate as a computer science engineer. DONT ASK ME WHY MY LAPTOP HAS SO MUCH SPACE.) Anyway, every software I need exists, and all my important stuff is on some  cloud, but I dont back up what my 3 a.m brain tells me. 
This could be because my 9am brain is all like " You are so messed up, what chick-flick is this based on. Can you get over yourself?"



Anyway, I am hoping, I do not delete this and keep this up, because I want to really ask my 8pm brain which one made more sense to it. Besides that, remember when we used Orkut? Oh c'mon we all had that phase, dont shy away!! Anyway for those who dont know what that is *rolling eyes at you* it was like facebook for my teen years *rolling eyes at myself* . So, on Orkut we had a concept of "testimonials" where we just wrote stuff about people we liked and it showed up on their profile. Like even if you are not friends with them, you get to see their testimonials, like how on facebook you see a profile picture, sorta like that. So my sister on my profile wrote " She's a go-getter and her vibrant energy and enthusiasm spreads easy" Some more lovey-dovey stuff. Point being, "go-getter" *my sister was just being nice, we all know that, but I'm going to pretend like it was nothing but the truth* 

So assuming she is right, I'm going to say I am a go getter, Im more of you only fall to get up stronger kind of person. And I told my two amazing friends that I have few days left as a student, and I wanted to do something. I want to learn. While if you know me from college you are going to say outloud that I am a nerd. If you are a school-mate, you will openly laugh at this. Either way, I was not talking academically, I was addressing the other things I wanted to pick up, like DIYS. I fangirl all over them, apart from that really applying my computer science knowledge, because I know it is not at its best, like "excuse me but how the hell do i get instant email notifications from this website?" "You can make a what? With that tool? WHY DID I GO TO COLLEGE?" Actually more directed to web-designing, because currently that's been an interest. And I assure you I will be really bad at it. But like I said this is only so that I have a copy I dont delete things. And to change this.. In my own way, to be better.

But you will also find learnings, coupled with stories, and in all honesty this blog will also be a forum to my rant. I am not great with my emotions, and I will probably juggle with them. That is awful, so I guess it is time to change that. 

I plan to achieve two things through this :
1) Keep learning things off the amazing internet, and be good at something.
2) Like I said in the beginning I am not where I want to be, but somethings are looking up, so if i swing that way, this will be #journeythroughitall(yeah, I'm going to hash it. Deal it.
AND, I didnt plan on a third one, but : THIS IS IMPORTANT.
3) If i do succeed in learning fifty new things or not, I have a grand finale, which is a masked internet stranger(well not so strange if you know me) trying to get through a really terrible time.

So that's the agenda here.
If you made it this far, ask me for a cookie. You deserve it. 
P.s : I will give you two <3